Oh my goodness, hellooo!
I’m Dr. Jackie, and I am SO glad you’re here.
First, allow me to introduce myself. I am a psychologist (5-year PhD here!) and metaphysical/spiritual girly, but unapologetically both. I’m not the kind of spiritual person who doesn’t make sense. My take is that spirituality is a practical skill! If it’s not making your real life here on Earth better, then… it’s not worth doing.
Anyway, this is my niche, my lane, my whole raison d’être! Consider me the meeting point where between empirical, evidence-based science and ancient hermetic wisdom. I spent approx… 29.5 years thinking they needed to be separate, and thank God I was wrong, because real, lasting change happens at the intersection of the two.
Cool, but what do I write about, you may ask?
In short, relationships! And the patterns underlying them. I’m talking overgiving, people pleasing, and that quiet way you hold everything and everyone together but slowly wither away into nothingness under the sheer weight of it all. Usually we call that codependency; really, it’s the trap of being the most capable person in the room (which is a toxic, addictive belief in itself, but we’ll get there inside the publication, k?).
Basically, if you’re the strong friend, the fixer, and the one who reads the room and knows exactly how to act (and probably has everyone wrapped around your lil finger), but are quietly, uhm, drowning under the weight of it all, unsure how to make your own decisions and perhaps a little (or a lot) confused about what the heck to do with your life and your own thoughts/feelings/power, you are in the RIGHT PLACE!
Here’s the part nobody says out loud, though… because it’s the painful part. You don’t overgive just because you’re generous, and loving, though you absolutely ARE. You do it because somewhere, in some relationship when you were young, you internalized a belief that it wasn’t safe to be YOU. So you made yourself USEFUL. It’s not a character flaw, and you’re not broken. You came up with a frickin’ brilliant strategy to stay safe. And… your strategy is due an upgrade!
The way I work holds two things at once, in equal measure. In one hand, real psychology: attachment theory, boundaries, subconscious patterns, the researched and the observable. In the other, the older wisdom: hermetic philosophy, meditation, the understanding that every relationship is a mirror, and that healing it is really about coming home to yourSELF. I will never make you choose between science and soul. The entire point of this place is that you get both.
So what’s my own part in this?
For most of my life I was you… I was the family manager. I carried everyone’s feelings and thoughts, belief, everyone’s plans and logistics, everyone’s…everything. Somewhere under all that dizzying cognitive load, I lost the core of myself as the center of my universe. I had quietly (okay, probably pretty loudly, #LeoSun over here) made myself the martyr for every person I loved, until I woke up one day and thought, wait, who…am…I?!?? I don’t even know what I like to eat!
The first time I really saw a way out, I was halfway around the world, in Cambodia, on my extremely-unglamorous-yet-somehow-totally-romantic year of travel after college (that’s uni for you Europeans!). A fight broke out at home amongst my family, and I knew before anyone told me a single detail, because immediately every person in my family started blowin’ up my Whatsapp. And then came the thought I had never once allowed in before.. O M G… I don’t have to answer this! I can just...not! The true journey to come home to myself took an additional ten years after that, and the full integration of both halves of me to do it: the psychology that elucidated the patterns in full force, and the metaphysical, healing work that helped me alchemize it fully instead of letting it quietly ru(i)n my life. I’m writing this publication to save you from ten years of literal pain, struggle, and sooo many questions (although I will also say a lot of cool, fun experiences too). You don’t have to go down the garden path, and get lost.. you can just, stay here instead! And make it straightforward for yourself. You deserve that.
Why here, and why now?
I wanted somewhere to write and speak honestly and at length—from my unique take on things. Somewhere I could speak in equal parts college professor / academic researcher (hi, it me!) and spiritual teacher and healer (hi, it ALSO me!). Here, I trust you to jive with both. This must be the place!
What you’ll get, and how often.
New writing lands every week on Thursday. You’ll get essays and scientific deep dives (references included, of course) on relationships, codependency, and attachment that treat you like the intelligent adult you are, along with the occasional practice or meditation you can actually use. It’s science and soul, side by side, always. I also love practical tips, guides, and tools for effective change, so you can expect some of those, too.
Could you do one small thing for me?
Subscribe below, then REPLY TO ME below with the name of the ONE PERSON who made you think, shiiiiii I *do* need to work on my relationships... I read every. single. one. 😇 It could be your faaaather, your mother, your ex boyfriend, or even (dare I say it?!) yourSelf.
You CAN have relationships that feel like home. The science is real, the tools are ancient, and the door is right here.
Now, I leave you with the choice…will you walk through the door?
xo, Dr. Jackie
